The first group performance of the year is “American Boy.” This song annoys us, but we’re willing to give it a shot. The girls kick things off, and we’re just… not impressed. The guys aren’t a whole lot more impressive. Kind of disappointing, but we’ve learned not to expect too much from group performances any more.
 
Time to learn some results for the girls. Seacrest has the back row of six girls stand and starts delivering the news.
 
Siobhan Magnus is up first. After this week’s train wreck we really wanted her to go home, but she’s safe. Haeley Vaughn is safe, and so is Michelle Delamor. Same goes for Katelyn Epperly.
 
This leaves Katie Stevens and Janell Wheeler still standing. This doesn’t seem like a big mystery to us, and we’re right. Janell Wheeler is eliminated. We don’t think she should have gone quite this early, but we’re not all that surprised- the song she chose this week was WAY too big for her and she just didn’t seem to connect with it at all. And it’s not much better the second time around.

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Last night, the girls were pretty much a train wreck, for the most part. Let’s see if the guys can do any better.
 
Todrick Hall kicks things off with a terrible remix of “Since U Been Gone.” Really, Todrick, why would you take an already annoying and repetitive song and make it even more annoying and repetitive? He’s really not even singing- it’s two or three notes over and over. He tells Simon he heard this version of the song “in his head.” It probably should have stayed there. Our rating: 2/10
 
Next is Aaron Kelly with “Here Comes Goodbye.” It starts off shaky, and stays that way throughout most of the performance, but it’s not a complete fail, at least. If he could get better control of his nerves, he’d be a much better performer. And his voice is good, so we’re hoping he gets another chance next week. Our rating: 7/10

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Tonight the top 12 girls perform for our votes for the first time this season. We’re hoping to see an improvement on Hollywood week. Fingers crossed.
 
First up tonight is Paige Miles, who we’re pretty sure is Idol cannon fodder. She sings “All Right Now” and we kind of feel like we’re eavesdropping on someone singing badly in their car. This is not a good start to the season, and we hope it’s not indicative of things to come. Our rating: 4/10
 
Ashley Rodriguez is next with “Happy.” We loved her audition and she was our early favorite, but this is just terribly disappointing. The song is way too big for her, and the vocals are all over the place. It’s like she can’t find the right key. No, no, no. Our rating: 4/10

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By the end of tonight, the complete top 24 for this season will be revealed. Last night, 7 of those 24 spots were filled. Tonight, the remaining 37 contestants learn their fate.
 
First up tonight is Janell Wheeler. She talks about how much this means to her and how badly she wants to be here, but says she’s disappointed in herself after messing up her final solo performance. It’s good news, though- she’s in the top 24.
 
Something about Tyler Grady annoys us. We can’t quite put our finger on what it is, but we’re going to have to learn to live with it, because he’s in the top 24.
 
Last year, Lacey Brown made it to the top 50 and the last spot in the top 24 was between her and Megan Joy. Unluckily for us, it’s a different kind of news for her this year and she’s in. She’s not good, though, so we don’t look forward to it.

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Well, we oopsied. We weren’t home to watch the show last night, and we didn’t realize it was a two-hour show and only recorded an hour of it. But, since the second hour was just the announcement of 7 people who made it to the top 24, we didn’t miss much.
 
71 contestants remain, and in this episode they’ll be taking the stage for a final time before their fates are sealed. During this round they perform with a full band, but they receive no feedback from the judges.
 
At 8 PM, the judges are making their final decisions, and the entire group is split into three separate groups and sent to wait in three different rooms. Room 1 includes Casey James, Tim Urban, Tyler Grady, Andrew Garcia and Todrick Hall. Room 2 includes Khia Johnson, Mary Powers, Lloyd Thomas, Hope Johnson and Christian Spear. And room 3 includes Shelby Dressel, Haeley Vaughn, Jessica Furney and Angela Martin.

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Here we go- the episode that brings us the most drama every season. It’s group day in Hollywood! 85 people were cut prior to this, which leaves 96 to get through this day. To start things off, the contestants spend 30 minutes splitting up into groups and choosing songs. The drama ensues five minutes into the show. It’s going to be a looooong episode, folks!
 
As always, some groups get along better than others. The one Mary Powers is in, not so much. They started out as a group, and then added two more girls. However, it doesn’t start off well because the two newcomers decide not to show up when everyone else is ready to start rehearsing. There’s drama about whether or not the group wants to let them stay, but they ultimately decide to give them another chance.
 
By midnight, the groups are rehearsing all over the building. One girl leads her group to the same spot she rehearsed in last year because she thinks it will bring them good luck. However we’re not sure we understand this logic, since she got cut during Hollywood week last year. Well, whatever floats your boat, we suppose.

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Finally, the auditions are over and we’ve arrived at Hollywood Week. This is the point at which we welcome new permanent judge Ellen DeGeneres, and we’re really excited to see how she does.
 
As always, during the first round, contestants perform in groups of 8 and can choose to sing a cappella or perform with an instrument. This round is sudden death, which means they’ll either make it to the next round or be sent home immediately after their performance.
 
Skiiboski and Katie Stevens are in the first group of 8. Katie Stevens is much better than she was at her auditions. We’re pleasantly surprised. Skiiboski, on the other hand, sings through his nose and sounds like every other R&B ripoff we’ve ever heard. Katie makes it to the next round, but thankfully, this is the last we’ve seen of Skiiboski.
 
To kill time, since we know how good Idol is at that, here’s a montage of Simon being mean… and Ellen matching him jab for jab, but in a much funnier way. We like her already.

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The first auditioner we see tonight is Jessica Furney, who we remember from last year. She’s improved and she’s got a new look. The judges like, and so do we. She makes it to Hollywood.

It’s also good news for Amanda Shectman, who does a really creepy Britney impersonation, and then begs the judges to send her to Hollywood when Simon appears to be on the fence. We don’t like her. The judges aren’t totally sold either and tell her she needs to learn to connect with her audience, but they send her to Hollywood anyway.

After a montage of people showing off their stupid human tricks, we meet Lee Dewyze and Crystal Bowersox. Lee is a bit boring, and Crystal is every other hippie chick with a guitar we’ve ever seen, but they both make it to Hollywood.

Next up are some people who’ve auditioned before. Remember suntan girl? She’s back… and she still sucks.

Lacey Brown made the top 50 last year, and was edged out of the top 36 by Megan Joy. Our initial reaction is to wonder why the judges would have picked Megan over ANYONE, but then we hear Lacey sing and we understand. She’s even worse than Megan. Nevertheless, she’s going to Hollywood again.

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Welcome to Denver, the city we first met Chris Daughtry in. This time around, the size of the crowd has doubled. Here’s hoping there’s some talent among them. Unfortunately, Victoria Beckham is back as a guest judge… because she was so useful the first time and everything. It’s going to be a long hour.

Mark Labriola says people tell him all the time that he looks like Jack Black. We think those people should have their eyes examined. Then he tells us that when he was 4, his mother took him against his father’s will and he was “on the run” with her for six years. We don’t care, that’s got nothing to do with music. Surprisingly, though, he’s pretty good… and he has a lot of personality. He makes it to Hollywood.

After a montage of people doing stupid things, we meet Mario Galvan. His laugh kind of makes us want to bomb something. And speaking of bombing things, what’s with the green trench coat? Weird. His voice isn’t QUITE as bad as we expected, but he’s certainly not good enough for this show. It’s a no.

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