Tonight’s episode begins with a Clash Of The Titans promotion. Maybe they should just cancel the show and air an hour of commercials every Wednesday. Oh, and tonight we’ll also see performances from Ruben Studdard, Usher and Diddy.
 
Things get moving with Ruben Studdard’s performance of “Don’t Make ‘Em Like You No More.” Well… wait. No, they really don’t. This is incredibly dull, much like everything else we’ve heard him do. Next.
 
The music for this week’s Ford commercial is none other than “Kung Fu Fighting.” Really? Just when we think these things couldn’t be any more ridiculously stupid, they pull this one out of the vaults. Sigh. Oh, and there’s also a mention of the top 10 being treated to a private screening of Clash Of The Titans.

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We can’t imagine R&B/soul night going well with a group that has so far appeared to be pretty soulless, but we’ll see. Tonight’s mentor is Usher, which we’re excited about.
 
Siobhan Magnus is first tonight. This is merciful, means we’ll get her over with quickly. She sings “Through The Fire.” Really badly. She’s shaky at the beginning, and when she starts trying to hit those high notes, she’s ridiculously off key. And of course, she has to end the whole thing with some obnoxious screaming. This is terrible, even for her. Our rating: 2/10
 
Casey James performs “Hold On I’m Coming.” It’s never been done on the show, so we’re happy for that, but that’s about as far as it goes. It’s just more of the same crap he always does, playing the guitar with some secondary sub-par singing. He relies far too heavily on everything that shouldn’t matter. But, at least he’s on key and sounds half decent, so points for that. Our rating: 6/10

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More results are in tonight, and with the exception of the one person who goes home, everyone left will be on this summer’s tour. Oh, and we also get to sit through performances by Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas. What is this, the kindergarten class trip?
 
The group performance of “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” is even more cringe-inducing than usual. Wham? Really? This is a whole new level of embarrassing!
 
The Ford commercial is more of the same- just a bunch of nonsensical CGI over a bland song. Remember when these used to actually be fun to watch? It’s been a long time.
 
The results begin with Siobhan Magnus. She’s safe. Lee Dewyze and Casey James are also safe, but Paige Miles and Tim Urban are not so lucky. They’re both in the bottom three.

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Tonight’s theme is Billboard #1s, and the mentor is… MILEY CYRUS??? Why? What qualifies her? When in her career has she made a decision on her own without someone else telling her what to do? We know she’s got a movie to promote, but come on.
 
Lee Dewyze is first tonight, and he sings “The Letter.” This is not a song we enjoy under any circumstances, and this is just really awkward. The arrangement isn’t very good, and Lee just does not have the confidence he needs. It’s too bad, because his voice is fantastic, but he’s got to kick everything else up a notch if he wants to remain in the competition until the end. Our rating: 6/10
 
Paige Miles had laryngitis last week. Tonight she sings “Against All Odds,” and she sounds even worse than she did when she was sick. There’s not a single note here that sounds the way it should, and she keeps going from extreme lows to extreme highs, like she can’t decide what she wants to do. The whole thing is a huge mess, and probably the worst performance we’ve seen all season. That’s saying a lot with this bunch. Our rating: 1/10

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After the first week on the big stage, it’s time for someone else to go home. But first, we learn that the judges’ save is back again this season. It’s stupid, but here’s how it works: When a contestant is up for elimination, the judges can decide to save them, thus meaning no one is eliminated that week and two people leave the following week. The decision must be unanimous, and only one save can be used all season. Also, it can only be used until top 5 week. Same as last year, and it was a joke last year. Why bring it back?
 
Well, at least things start off well- season 7 winner David Cook performs “Jumpin’ Jack Flash.” We would have much rather seen him do one of his own songs, rather than yet another Rolling Stones cover. We’ve had enough of those this week. Having said that, he performs well and we still love him.

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Break out the streamers and confetti- we’re finally moving on to the big stage! But wait. It’s Rolling Stones week. This could be scary.
 
Michael Lynche gets things “rolling” (pun intended, we apologize) with “Miss You.” Despite the awkward dancing and the fact that this style of music is really not suited to him, this isn’t bad. It’s not great either, but we can at least stand to listen to it. Our rating: 7/10
 
We’re trepidatious about Didi Benami’s performance of “Play With Fire.” But then again, we kind of always are. Her obvious nerves always rub off on us. Tonight, though, she seems much more confident. Her vocals are better than usual too, but the song as a whole is quite boring. We’re not sold on it. Our rating: 7/10
 
Casey James goes for more guitar distortion and posing with “It’s All Over Now.” But wait! What’s this? He can actually sing? It’s news to us! This is the first time we’ve been even remotely impressed with Casey. This is a good style of music for him, and although we’re still not compelled to vote, this is quite enjoyable. Our rating: 8/10
 
Lacey Brown’s rendition of “Ruby Tuesday” is nearly inaudible most of the time, and she’s way off key. That’s nothing new, and we’re starting to feel like a broken record, but this is really bad. How she got this far on the show is completely beyond us. Our rating: 2/10

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So, tonight we find out who’s in the top 12. Seacrest says we could be in for a surprise or two, but he says that most weeks, so we’re not too nervous. Not that we would be anyway, with this bunch. We’ll also see a performance from last season’s Matt Giraud and Scott MacIntyre tonight.
 
With the small exception of the part that Lee and Michael sing together, the group performance of “Haven’t Met You Yet” is pretty embarrassing. It’s all kinds of cheesy. But having said that, it’s not as horrible as the other group performances this season.
 
On with the results- the girls are up first. Didi Benami is the first person to make the top 12. She’s followed by Siobhan Magnus, which leaves Paige Miles and Katelyn Epperly standing. We think we know what’s going to happen… but we’re wrong. Paige Miles is in, and Katelyn Epperly is eliminated FAR too early.

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After the nightmare that was last night, we’re hoping the guys can really bring it tonight and entertain us more than the girls did. Fingers crossed.
 
Lee Dewyze opens the show with “Fireflies.” Kind of a weird song choice, and we’re not totally sold on it. It’s certainly not terrible, but it’s not nearly as good as some of the other performances we’ve seen from Lee. We do like that he seems much more comfortable on stage tonight, though. Our rating: 7/10
 
Alex Lambert’s choice of “Trouble” seems like a good idea, but really, his voice is still annoying. Not unique, but annoying. Yeah, we said it. We just can’t get into him. And this just seems so safe- like he purposely chose a song he knew he could at least not go off key on. We’re not impressed. Our rating: 6/10

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Tonight is the last chance the girls get to impress the audience and make it into the top 12. And it’s only an hour long, so it’s a pretty fast moving show.
 
Katie Stevens starts things off with “Breakaway.” This is a terrible idea. You should never sing Kelly Clarkson on this show, and definitely not this early in the competition. And on top of that, it’s a completely lifeless performance. It’s like she doesn’t believe in what she’s singing, or doesn’t care, or maybe both. Our rating: 5/10
 
Siobhan Magnus is her usually creepy and weird with “House Of The Rising Sun.” This is very somber and dark and… well, boring. We just can’t get into her and we don’t see what the big deal is. We very nearly fall asleep this time around. Our rating: 6/10

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The results are in, and tonight two more guys and two more girls will be packing their bags. We’ll also see a performance from last season’s third place finisher Danny Gokey.
 
Things get rolling with a group performance of “I Got a Feeling.” Seriously, do the producers intentionally pick songs that require little to no talent for these group songs? This is a joke.
 
Right to business- the back row of guys stands. Tim Urban is safe. Seacrest tells Todrick Hall to keep standing. Our fingers are crossed. Michael Lynche and Casey James are both safe, which means either Todrick Hall or John Park is going home. And it’s… John Park. He sings “Gravity” again, and while he doesn’t sound too bad, it’s like watching a robot sing.

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