Last night, 33 million votes rolled in. Tonight, we learn the results. There will also be performances by Rascal Flatts and Shakira, Sons of Sylvia and Lady Antebellum.
 
Things get underway with the first Rascal Flatts performance of the evening, “Unstoppable.” We like Rascal Flatts, but these vocals are weak. The whole thing is forgettable. We’re excited when it’s over.
 
Now it’s time to go behind the scenes of this week’s Ford music video, where the contestants are being “transformed” into vampires. Well, at least it’s not the usual CGI and cheesy dancing. It’s a pretty obvious homage to Twilight, but that’s okay, we guess. The video is at least entertaining.
 
Which is more than can be said for all the footage of the top 6 meeting the director of Shrek Forever After, recording voiceovers and seeing the movie with a bunch of fans. Really? Why do we care?

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In lieu of a generic “country” week, we’ll be treated to a bunch of dudes singing Shania Twain. Should be interesting. And, of course, she’s also the mentor. Well, at least she isn’t Miley Cyrus.
 
Lee Dewyze opens the show with “You’re Still The One.” We love this song, but this is just not good. The tune is nothing like the original song, and he’s just all over the place. Very disappointing, considering Lee is usually our favorite. Our rating: 6/10

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Idol Gives Back is happening tonight. That means lots of charity videos, lots of guest performances, lots of speeches, and five minutes of results. The show will actually even run longer than its allotted two hours. Oh boy.
 
Things start off with a message from President Obama and the First Lady, encouraging people to donate whatever they can and wishing the contestants luck on tonight’s elimination. Nice way to kick things off. Throughout the night, we’ll also see performances from the Black Eyed Peas, Carrie Underwood, Annie Lennox, Jeff Beck and Joss Stone, Mary J. Blige, Alicia Keys and Sir Elton John.
 
The top 12 is reunited to perform at the beginning of the show. Sadly enough, we had already forgotten several of these contestants. And by the time the show is over, we’ll probably have forgotten this performance too. It’s pretty dull.

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Tonight’s theme is inspirational songs, and the mentor is Alicia Keys. Tomorrow is the two-hour Idol Gives Back event we’ve been hearing about all season, full of guest performances.
 
Casey James opens tonight’s show with “Don’t Stop.” It’s the same crap he always does, posing with his guitar and singing passably well. It’s too tame, there’s not enough personality, and the whole thing is pretty forgettable. Our rating: 6/10
 
Lee Dewyze’s performance of “The Boxer” starts off shaky, but gets better as he goes. It’s still not the best we’ve heard from him, and we wish there was a little bit more connection, but it’s certainly nowhere near bad. While it’s not Lee’s personal best, it’s probably the strongest performance tonight. Our rating: 8/10

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Things are a little different tonight. Since the save was used on Michael Lynche last week, two people will be sent home by the end of tonight’s show. There will also be performances from Adam Lambert and Brooke White and Justin Gaston.
 
Tonight’s group performance is a ridiculously cheesy medley of Elvis songs. These things are always pretty stupid, but this one is even duller than the last few have been. Seems they only continually get worse. The Ford commercial, however, is marginally more entertaining this week. At least it’s something besides the same old dancing around in front of a CGI background again.
 
Time for some results. Seacrest calls Casey James, Andrew Garcia and Aaron Kelly to center stage. He babbles about long journeys for a minute or two, and then eliminates Andrew with no fanfare and no warning. Quick and painless. Wish it was like this every week, the show would be over in ten minutes. Andrew performs again, it’s just as boring as it always is, and we’re moving on.

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Tonight’s show is down to 90-minutes, so it’ll be mercifully fast-moving. The theme is Elvis, and the mentor is last season’s runner-up Adam Lambert.
 
Crystal Bowersox starts us off with “Saved.” We like that it’s more uptempo, but really, this is more of the same. She’s good, but she does the girl with guitar thing to death, and really, we’re kind of bored. Our rating: 7/10
 
Andrew Garcia chooses “Hound Dog.” This is a cheesy enough song on its own, and his arrangement makes it far worse. It’s like watching a geriatric Elvis on jazz night at the nursing home. So boring! Our rating: 4/10

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Another night of results- Seacrest tells us they’re shocking this week. But that’s far from being the first time we’ve heard that, so we’re not too worried just yet. We’ll also see performances by Jason Derulo, David Archuleta and Rihanna.
 
The group performance tonight is a Lennon/McCartney medley. It starts off fairly well, but then reverts to typical cheese. Long, dragged-out cheese. It’s slightly less cringe-inducing than other performances we’ve seen this season, but not by much.
 
The Ford commercial is much of the same CGI and dancing around with props. Yawn.
 
Siobhan Magnus, Crystal Bowersox and Katie Stevens are all asked to join Seacrest at center stage. Crystal is sent back to safety immediately… and so are Siobhan and Katie.
 
So now it’s time for Jason Derulo’s performance. It appears he raided Adam Lambert’s closet, then created a hybrid of Usher’s pyro and dancing, and Diddy’s obnoxious strobe lights, and called it a performance. Not much to say, since it’s every pop/hip hop performance we’ve seen for the past 15 or so years.

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Tonight is Lennon/McCartney night. Again. Well, hopefully it’s at least watchable.
 
Aaron Kelly starts us off with “The Long And Winding Road.” Just in case he wasn’t already a less entertaining clone of David Archuleta. The vocals are weak, the song is boring, and we still really wish he’d find his own identity. Our rating: 5/10
 
Katie Stevens chooses to sing “Let It Be.” It’d be much better if she sang it in a lower key. As such, it’s quite shaky and awkward at the beginning. It gets better, and it turns out it’s overall a pretty good performance, but mid-range alto is her money and she should have stayed there. Our rating: 7/10
 
Andrew Garcia says he’s going to change up his performance of “Can’t Buy Me Love.” Big shock there, doesn’t he do that every week? This is… okay. It’s very choppy. The chorus is quite catchy and entertaining, but the verses… not so much. Overall, the whole thing is kind of awkward and we doubt we’ll remember it for long. Our rating: 7/10

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