Here we are in LA, where the lucky few who make it to Hollywood will end up anyway. 10,000 people await us in hopes of being one of those lucky few. The guest judge for day one is Avril Lavigne. In case the show wasn’t already turning into enough of a joke, she shows up wearing a hoodie with devil horns on it. Cringe.
 
First up tonight is Neil Goldstein, who shocks us with his announcement that he’s a big geek. Really? Wow, we never would have guessed. (Please note the sarcasm.) This is exactly what we’ve come to expect: Moron shows up to audition. Moron sings badly. Moron disagrees with judges. Moron refuses to leave, then rants when he finally does. They might as well just show the same audition in a loop for the first month of the show.
 
Jim Ranger is a worship pastor who has been married for 7 years and has 3 kids. We’ve heard this story before, but our hopes are high anyway. Turns out we’re not disappointed. He has a very honest, authentic voice and we like him. He reminds us a bit of Bo Bice, in fact. He makes it to Hollywood.
 
Jayson Wilson screeches his way through a Celine Dion song and is sent packing. Jesse Chang treats us to some Kung Fu Fighting, complete with corny dance moves, and gets a no. And to round out the trio of winners, Martin Perez does his “best” impersonation of Danny Zuko from Grease. Another no.
 
Damien Lafavor doesn’t get off to a good start- he forgets the title of his song. Really? Sigh. Not that we’re surprised, but this is pathetic. He stops halfway through his “performance” to rant about how he just choked and then leaves the room with nothing more to say. Well, at least he owns that he sucks.
 
We’re not a fan of Mary Powers’ trash bag outfit, and we’ve seen clones of her several times every season. Simon is right, she’s very cliched. But, she does have a good voice, so points for that. She makes it to Hollywood.
 
After a montage of Adam Lambert wannabes, we meet… an Adam Lambert wannabe. How appropriate! AJ Mendoza screams for a few minutes, then acts like he has any idea what he’s talking about when the judges inform him that he sucks. He then leaves the room and has a little diva fit on his way out the door. Good riddance.
 
Day two begins with new guest judge Katy Perry. We’re not big fans, but we’re more than happy to see Avril Lavigne go.
 
Austin Fullmer says nobody on Idol has ever been like him. We get the feeling that’s probably a good thing. He sings, dances and fakes an accent… all badly. Then he says his purpose in life is to sing, and when Simon disagrees he goes on a rampage about how Simon is just jealous because Katy and Kara think he’s sexy. Yeah. We’re sure that’s exactly what it is. Next.
 
Another montage of people who suck, and then we meet Andrew Garcia. We’re not as impressed as the judges seem to be and we suspect he’d get boring pretty quickly, but he makes it to Hollywood.
 
Tasha Layton, on the other hand, has a lot of potential. She’s quirky and unique, and while she’s not quite as strong as we would have liked, we look forward to seeing her again in Hollywood.
 
Jason Greene sings “I Touch Myself.” Really? We’re creeped out. Not that we’re surprised, but this is a complete joke. But, despite ourselves, we do laugh when he gives Seacrest his phone number outside the audition room.
 
Ending the evening is Chris Golightly. We don’t particularly care that he grew up in foster care, since that tells us nothing about whether or not he can sing. Turns out he can, although he’s reminiscent of every boyband member we can think of. But, he’s got talent, which is more than can be said for a lot of the dreck we’ve had to sit through so far this season. He makes it to Hollywood.
 
22 people have made it to Hollywood tonight, and tomorrow night we’ll meet more hopefuls in Dallas.