11,000 people have come to Dallas to give stardom a shot. Neil Patrick Harris is the guest judge for day one. Awkward, but okay.

After auditioning in season one, Julie Kevelighan has returned to try again. We’re not excited, since she was terrible then and we don’t expect anything to have changed. We’re right. And of course she starts singing again after the judges say no. And to top it all off, on the way out the door she says it would have gone better if she had taken a deep breath. Yeah, we’re sure that would have made all the difference.

Lloyd Thomas reminds us of some weird hybrid of Ruben Studdard and Rickey, the “Hercules! Hercules!” guy. We don’t expect much, but he’s actually pretty good. He needs a lot more personality and stage presence, but his voice is good. He makes it to Hollywood.

Next up is Kimberly Carver, and we’re rooting for her right from the start. She’s upbeat and has a lot of personality, and she’s got an awesome voice. Of course, since she doesn’t look like a model, Simon says no and makes a lame excuse about not being excited about her. We expected it. Thankfully the other three judges override him and she makes it to Hollywood, and rightfully so.

There’s not much to say about Dexter Ward. He sings badly, gets rejected, and leaves the room crying. We’ve seen it all before, and we’re bored. Next.

After a montage of more crying people, Erica Rhodes enters the room apparently thinking she’s applying for a job at a brothel. Best part is, she was on Barney & Friends as a child. The whole “I was on a kiddie show and now I dress like a dominatrix and carry a whip” thing is really contrived and annoying and we’re immediately turned off. She’s a decent singer, but so are a few million other people and we just don’t care. She makes it to Hollywood anyway.

Dave Pittman has Tourette’s, and while we expect just another sob story and a marginally good voice, we’re pleasantly surprised. He’s quite good, and seems very comfortable when he performs. We’re not crazy about his song choice, but we look forward to seeing how he fares in Hollywood.

Day one ends with another pointless montage, and day two begins with a new guest judge- Joe Jonas. Hooray.

First up on day two is Todrick Hall, who was in The Color Purple on Broadway with Fantasia. He sings a cheesy, lame little song he wrote about Idol and it comes across and desperate and kind of annoying. He’s got a decent voice, but we’re just not liking the song. The judges do, though, and he makes it to Hollywood. Maybe if he sang an actual song and didn’t just sell himself and kiss ass, we’d like him more. We’ll see.

Another montage of people making it to Hollywood. They include Dawntoya Johnson, who is pretty good, and Stephanie Doulong, who sounds like a goat. Moving right along.

Maegan Wright brings her little brother to the auditions with her, apparently in an effort to win cuteness points. When she sings, though, she needs to pick a key and stay in it. We’re not impressed at all, but the judges seem to think she’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. She makes it to Hollywood. We don’t care.

The fact that Vanessa Johnston showed up dressed like a neon sign is all we need to know. She’s going to be bad. And boy, is she BAD. BAAAAAAAAD. She sounds like what you’d expect to hear if you left a record out in the sun for a few days and then tried to play it. Simon calls her his worst nightmare, and she essentially takes it as a compliment. Well, we guess it’s kind of refreshing that she’s open about the fact that she just wants her 15 seconds of fame.

After yet another montage about how much of a jerk Simon is (we still don’t buy it), we meet Christian Spear. She was diagnosed with leukemia at age 4, and is 16 now. (Oh no. 16. We see this coming.) She’s got a pretty voice, we’re just not sure how unique she is. The judges, of course, rave about what a good singer she is “for 16″ and how confident she is “for 16.” In case we missed it, she’s 16. She makes it to Hollywood.

31 people from Dallas are going to Hollywood, and next week the auditions are nearing an end in Denver.