The first auditioner we see tonight is Jessica Furney, who we remember from last year. She’s improved and she’s got a new look. The judges like, and so do we. She makes it to Hollywood.

It’s also good news for Amanda Shectman, who does a really creepy Britney impersonation, and then begs the judges to send her to Hollywood when Simon appears to be on the fence. We don’t like her. The judges aren’t totally sold either and tell her she needs to learn to connect with her audience, but they send her to Hollywood anyway.

After a montage of people showing off their stupid human tricks, we meet Lee Dewyze and Crystal Bowersox. Lee is a bit boring, and Crystal is every other hippie chick with a guitar we’ve ever seen, but they both make it to Hollywood.

Next up are some people who’ve auditioned before. Remember suntan girl? She’s back… and she still sucks.

Lacey Brown made the top 50 last year, and was edged out of the top 36 by Megan Joy. Our initial reaction is to wonder why the judges would have picked Megan over ANYONE, but then we hear Lacey sing and we understand. She’s even worse than Megan. Nevertheless, she’s going to Hollywood again.

Stephanie Fisher is auditioning for the 7th time this year. She’s slow to take a hint, apparently… but she says Victoria Beckham is her idol, so that explains a lot. She sings terribly, then blames it on the fact that Victoria is in the room and making her nervous. Victoria looks away, and Stephanie sings again… except she’s worse this time. So much for that theory.

Now for a bunch of 16-year-olds, because we know how much they love them on this show. Rachel Hubbard kind of sounds like a goat. Thaddeus Johnson has a good voice, but he’s nothing original and the vocal olympics just don’t appeal to us. Genesis Moore would be good if she had a bit more control. Moving right along.

Adrian Chandtchi is 6 feet 8 inches tall, swims competitively, and refers to himself as a “beautiful man flower.” He also sings like a 4-year-old. Awkward! It’s a no for Adrian.

Next up is Michael Lynche, whose first baby will be arriving soon. He’s… okay. Nothing we haven’t heard before, but at least he’s not terrible. He makes it to Hollywood.

Didi Benami’s best friend died four years ago. Cringe. Another sob story. She sings through her nose, she’s unoriginal, and she has a meltdown in the middle of the audition. If she can’t even handle this, she’ll never make it through the next round, but the judges put her through anyway.

Aaron Kelly is some weird combination of David Archuleta and Justin Bieber. We’re creeped out. He’s got a decent voice, it’s just that he’s every teen pop act we’ve ever seen and we’re SO over it. But, he makes it to Hollywood anyway.

Kimberly Bishop butchers a Katy Perry song… not that that would take much. Then she says she thinks the judges called her “naughty” because she was so… good? Moving on.

Shaddaii Harris has brought her mother. Her mother says the Lord gave her a “vision” that her baby would be a singer. God was apparently feeling sarcastic that day, because sing she cannot. Of course she asks if she can sing another song, but it doesn’t help. No golden ticket for Shaddaii.

Hope Johnson had to overcome poverty. Boo hoo. Her and most of the rest of America. She’s not a BAD singer, but she’s nothing spectacular and we’re bored by about halfway through her audition. But since the bar is apparently set low this year, she moves on to the next round.

So, of the 100,000 people who auditioned, 181 are going to Hollywood. Next week is Hollywood week, and Ellen DeGeneres joins the judges’ panel permanently!