The first group performance of the year is “American Boy.” This song annoys us, but we’re willing to give it a shot. The girls kick things off, and we’re just… not impressed. The guys aren’t a whole lot more impressive. Kind of disappointing, but we’ve learned not to expect too much from group performances any more.
 
Time to learn some results for the girls. Seacrest has the back row of six girls stand and starts delivering the news.
 
Siobhan Magnus is up first. After this week’s train wreck we really wanted her to go home, but she’s safe. Haeley Vaughn is safe, and so is Michelle Delamor. Same goes for Katelyn Epperly.
 
This leaves Katie Stevens and Janell Wheeler still standing. This doesn’t seem like a big mystery to us, and we’re right. Janell Wheeler is eliminated. We don’t think she should have gone quite this early, but we’re not all that surprised- the song she chose this week was WAY too big for her and she just didn’t seem to connect with it at all. And it’s not much better the second time around.
 
The first of tonight’s guest performances comes from last year’s fourth-place finisher Allison Iraheta, singing her new single “Scars.” We’re not wild about the song, but it’s nice to see her on the Idol stage again and she seems very composed and mature. We like her.
 
Now it’s time for one more girl to go home, and all we know so far is that she’s sitting in the front row.
 
Paige Miles is safe. So is Lacey Brown, which makes us sick because her performance of “Landslide” was absolutely terrible. Lilly Scott is also safe, and deservedly so. Since Crystal Bowersox was easily the best girl on Tuesday night, we’re not at all surprised that she’s safe.
 
That leaves Ashley Rodriguez and Didi Benami standing at center stage awaiting their fates. We don’t think either of these girls should have been eliminated this early. Turns out Didi is safe, and Ashley is eliminated. Her performance on Tuesday wasn’t great, but it was certainly better than what she does tonight for her farewell performance.
 
Cue some useless footage of Tyler Grady at rehearsal in his robe and cowboy boots. Really? Why do we care?
 
Time for some results for the guys. Michael Lynche is up first, and he’s safe. John Park is safe also, and we can’t for the life of us understand why. No big surprise that Aaron Kelly is also safe. Todrick Hall, also safe, and also completely undeserved.
 
That leaves Tim Urban and Joe Munoz hanging in the balance. We don’t like what we see coming, since Joe was one of our favorites on Wednesday night. And we’re right. Joe Munoz is robbed. Oops, we mean, eliminated. Tim Urban is safe because he’s cute and the 12-year-olds stayed up past their bedtime and voted for him. We relish Joe’s final peformance, and inwardly curse the viewers of this show who apparently wouldn’t know talent if it spit in their face.
 
Time for an announcement about Idol Gives Back, which is taking place on April 21st this year. Several sponsors have already signed up, and there’s still room for more. And things kick off tonight with an update from Kris Allen, who was recently in Haiti. He says that despite the devastation, he also saw a lot of hope while he was there. Kris also performs a cover of “Let It Be,” which you can purchase on iTunes and proceeds will benefit the people of Haiti.
 
Finally, the fourth person of the night will be eliminated. The front row of guys rises.
Casey James is safe. We’re not surprised, but as much as we don’t like him, we think it’s fair he’s still around. Jermaine Sellers is also safe, but we’ll be surprised if it’s for long. Lee Dewyze is safe, which is good because we’d have been heading to LA with our pitchforks and torches if he hadn’t been. Andrew Garcia is also, not surprisingly, safe.
 
So, it’s down to Tyler Grady and Alex Lambert. We certainly know what SHOULD happen… but we’re wrong. Tyler Grady is eliminated, leaving the results at 0 for 4 this week. Not a good way to kick off the season, voters.
 
Next week, the top 20 performs.