So it’s come down to this- tonight we crown our newest American Idol, and it’ll be either Adam Lambert or Kris Allen. 100 million votes came in last night, making the season’s total 624 million.
 
We start the show with some stupid montages. First there’s a stupid montage of Randy saying “for me for you.” Then there’s a stupid montage of Kara calling everyone “sweetie” and “honey.” Follow that up with a stupid montage of Paula using big words she doesn’t understand and can’t pronounce. And finally, a stupid montage of Simon having no idea what’s going on around him.
 
Once again this year, we have some former Idols in the contestants’ hometowns. Mikalah Gordon is in Conway, Arkansas with Kris’s crowd, and Carly Smithson is representing Adam Lambert in San Diego, California.
 
The first performance of the night is from the top 13 singing “So What.” Why do so many of these types of shows insist upon butchering Pink songs lately? This is slightly less cheesy than we expected, but not by much.

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Hard to believe it’s already finale week, but here we are. Tomorrow night, we’ll find out whether Adam Lambert or Kris Allen is our new American Idol.
 
Last week, Kris won the coin toss, and he chose to go second. That means Adam kicks off the show tonight. There are three rounds this week- the contestants’ favorite song of the season, a choice by Simon Fuller, and the evil coronation song cowritten by Kara DioGuardi.
 
The first round is the contestants’ favorite from the season, and Adam chooses to perform “Mad World” again. We’re excited, since this was one of his biggest standouts of the season. The best part about this is that he performs it differently- he doesn’t just repeat the same exact performance, and that’s a very good thing. And besides that, he sounds great. Our rating: 10/10

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88 million votes after last night’s performance show. These numbers just keep getting more impressive! And tonight, we’ll find out who’s in the finale. We’ll also be forced to sit through performances by Katy Perry and Jordin Sparks. Well, at least one of them could possibly be good.
 
The Ford video is a bunch of cartoony goodness. Not much else to say, except that it’s a really old, really annoying song.
 
Next, Alicia Keys makes an appearance about Idol Gives Back. It’s hilarious that they still talk about this, even though they were too cheap to actually do it this year. Some little boy from Rwanda performs “The World’s Greatest.” We can appreciate the work it took for him to learn English for the show, but it’d be nice if he could sing.

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Tonight is the 300th episode of American Idol. Holy poo!
 
Danny Gokey kicks off the show with the song the judges chose for him- “Dance Little Sister.” Uh… well, that’s 80s-tastic. He sounds fine, but there’s almost no melody to the song. And what’s with the cheesy saxophone solo and the scat singing? There’s really nothing all that impressive about this. Our rating: 7/10
 
The judges have chosen to make Kris Allen sing “Apologize.” This is an overdone song, but we do think he’ll do it well. Turns out it’s not as good as Archuleta’s performance of the same song last season, but it’s still good. Keeps us interested, at least. Our rating: 8/10

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Last night 64 million votes poured in, the highest non-finale number of votes ever for the show. Holy poo!
 
Tonight’s Ford music video is another boring moving billboard one. Don’t we have any original ideas left, Idol gods? Moving right along to the group performance, which features Slash on lead guitar. It’s, um, not so good. Maybe not BAD, but there’s nothing attention-grabbing about it and we really don’t even pay attention to most of it.
 
Now, for the first time in the history of the show, Paula Abdul performs on the Idol stage. Well, sort of. She actually lip synchs and dances around like she thinks she’s Britney Spears. But at least the song is catchy.

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It’s rock and roll week on Idol, and the mentor is Slash. Should be… interesting.
 
Adam Lambert opens the show tonight, which is a shock in itself. He sings “Whole Lotta Love.” We’re not crazy about the song, but he does sound awesome and performs incredibly well. Not our favorite performance from him, but it was certainly a good way to kick things off. Our rating: 9/10
 
Allison Iraheta is next, performing “Cry Baby.” Another song we’re not crazy about, but she handles herself very well. She seems more confident than usual, and her voice sounds great. The judges aren’t sold, and she defends herself a bit, which worries us. Overall though, a good performance. Our rating: 9/10

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After more than 47 million votes last night, it’s time to find out who gets the boot this week. We’ll also be “treated” to performances by Natalie Cole, Taylor Hicks and Jamie Foxx. Hooray.
 
This week’s Ford video features slow motion camera tricks, computer graphics and not much else. Seems they’ve gotten really lazy with the concepts for these videos this year, and this one is no exception.
 
The group performance is also lackluster this week. It lacks much rhythm or really anything entertaining. Moving right along.
 
Finally, the bright spot of the evening- some footage of the contestants making birthday cakes for Allison and Danny. Well, sort of. Turns out they just end up making a huge mess, but it’s hilarious anyway. This is the kind of thing we wish they’d show more of on this show- it’s nice to see some “behind the scenes” stuff.

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A full hour, and only five performances. Apparently it’s necessary for the judges to have MORE time to gab? Please kill us.
 
We’re also not terribly excited about Jamie Foxx being the mentor during Rat Pack week, but he actually turns out to be quite good at it. Probably our favorite mentor of the season, in fact.
 
First up tonight is Kris Allen singing “The Way You Look Tonight.” We foresee him doing well with this, and he does. It’s very relaxing and mellow. We like that he doesn’t try to overdo anything, and sticks to what he knows he’s good at. It’s an effective performance, and a good way to start the show. Our rating: 8/10

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After 45 million votes last night (another record this season), we’re about to find out which two contestants will be sent home this week.
 
Tonight’s group performance is choreographed by Paula Abdul. We sort of expect this to be a train wreck, but it turns out to be incredibly entertaining. Who knew they could actually dance? This is easily our favorite group performance so far this season.
 
The Ford commercial is also better than usual tonight. Are we on a roll? Could we turn out to be happy with the results too?
 
Time to find out. In a huge anticlimax, Lil Rounds is eliminated right off the bat. Woot! Now we’re happy. She performs one final time, and she sounds better than she has throughout the entire competition. Go figure.

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Tonight’s theme is cringeworthy, so we aren’t expecting much. Turns out that’s mostly a good thing.
 
Lil Rounds opens the show with “I’m Every Woman.” Oy vey. It’s slightly less horrifying than she usually is, but there’s still absolutely no life behind it and we very nearly fall asleep after the first line or two. Our rating: 4/10
 
Kris Allen is next with “She Works Hard For The Money.” He plays the guitar and does a very acoustic version of the song, and while our first reaction is that it’s not disco enough, it’s actually pretty good. He’s really good at this kind of music and we’re glad he’s sticking to his guns. Maybe not our favorite performance of his, but it’s good. Our rating: 8/10

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